..Its all In My Humble Opinion..

Friday, March 29, 2013

Marriage or mirage?


“Akshay weds Shweta”- The golden letters on the brown envelope of the invitation were shining under bright sun light. A sense of happiness and disappointment ran through him as he read them. Having been an outright frank person, Rohan found it tough to hide his feelings and fake an excitement. He knew this was coming though. But he wasn’t prepared. Not in the least. Shweta read his mind just the way she had done it all these years. “What’s wrong Rohan?” she sounded worried. A million thoughts ran through her mind, for this was not the reaction she had imagined. Not in the wildest of her dreams. “Nothing!” he said. Lying was alien to him.

“So when did you start lying?” her worries multiplied with that response from him. But she knew her words could make him speak.

“We have talked about this before. I thought you were more matured.”

“You are sounding vague Ro! Please be clear.”

“I never thought you would nod your head for a typical arranged marriage”

“Do you think I have a choice? I am 25 already. I don’t have enough time to find a person, get to know him, fall in love and then marry! I have already been through Shubham and I feel cheated enough now. It is time I start looking at it practically”

“Practically?” he smirked. “Would you rather choose anything that comes your way and adjust your life accordingly? You are not someone who can compromise that easily Shweta. I think I know you!”

“That’s how life is Rohan. I will have to learn to.”

“Ah! That same old crap. So you mean to say living a life of that sort is better than making another attempt to find a person who suits you?”

“Akshay suits me Ro! Totally!”

“Seriously? What makes you say that? How long have you known him?”

“That is not the point Ro. He is an investment banker with close to 5 years of experience. His job must have definitely taught him how to handle stress. He must be good at managing things. I have spoken to him a couple of times, met him once and he sounds just fine. One of the very few sane guys I have ever spoken to! And guess what.. My parents have spoken to his. All are so happy about this wedding happening. Mom said our horoscopes have the perfect match. 10 / 10 she says” she tried underplaying her excitement and tried to comfort him, but a few doubts started arising in her mind. She was wondering if she actually had any more reasons to marry him. Rohan was staring at the mud on which his foot was making a temporary impression.

“Hmmm! Forget parents. One must marry for oneself. Not for somebody else. Chuck that. But, an investment banking profile and an appropriate date and time of birth – Is that all required to marry you girl? Are you looking for a life partner or are you filling up the vacancy for the post of your husband with a suitable candidate?” his questions were always like a freshly sharpened knife.

She didn’t have answers. They just looked at each other for a while. Silence prevailed – that was the only thing that could separate them. A few minutes went by and somebody had to break the silence. Knowing that Rohan was adamant as always, she came up with a question, “What do you intend to do Ro? In case you don’t get to meet a girl who suits you?”

“Not marry at all !” the answer was lightning quick. She must have guessed that she thought. However radical he might sound, Rohan’s clarity was something Shweta was always proud and jealous of. He would never do something that he is not OK with - even if the Gods came down to Earth and asked him to do so.

“That might be a choice that you could afford to. Not me. I have a sister who needs to be married off too”

“Alright, so now you are marrying because Preethi needs to get married! Is this a sacrifice or an attempt towards martyrdom?” his rage grew. In his eyes, Shweta was sounding totally immature.

“Call it anything you wish to! But I am not going back on my decision to marry Akshay.” In her eyes, Rohan was sounding highly impractical.

“I never asked you to go back. But what if he...” Rohan didn’t have to complete that sentence.

“I will have to take that risk Ro. I neither have the time to get to know another guy nor the patience to wait and know whether he would suit me. You are the only guy I know very well as on date. And you know it won’t ..”

“Yeah I do!” He didn’t let her finish it. It was two years ago, when they had what they would call one of the most useless conversations, but the one they would remember vividly. A phone call to discuss the travel plan to attend one of their friends’ wedding ended up in an argument on whether best friends can marry each other. While they agreed to disagree on the generic question, they knew the answer very well when it came to them. To put it in Shweta’s words, “We are the best friends, but would be the worst couple, if we were ever to marry” Rohan couldn’t agree more. An entire college believed otherwise. But, Shweta’s occasional immaturity and Rohan’s typical straightforwardness were agreeable to each other as friends, not as partners.

“Exactly! So what do I do now? I have a sister who has to get married. I don’t have enough time to search for someone who will suit me. I found a guy with a good profile and a decent attitude. He works at my hometown. I can shift to the place, live near my parents. I have been away from them for years. And he is not bothered about whether I work or I don’t. He earns enough. Both his mom and dad are retired. I found these good enough to say yes!”

“You mean those are reasons good enough to strike a business deal that you would term as marriage? A marriage of convenience like they call it! It is supposed to be such a lovely relationship. Why has it become ...” He was at loss for words – his anguish clear in his eyes. The last person he wanted to hear these from, was her.

“Why are you so against arranged marriage Ro? Your mom and dad had one. Aren’t they happy? They are such a lovely couple!”

“One-off case Shweta. They belong to the previous generation – the one that had more maturity and more patience. They were people who compensated compatibility with flexibility. They had better temperament and their saturation points were very high. We are a very fast and volatile generation. We break so soon. We keep complaining when something goes wrong. Arranged marriages won’t work for the majority of us.”

“So what do you think a love marriage gives this generation? The accountability for the decision or the compatibility?”

“Both! This generation needs one too many reasons to hang on to something. But just a hint of something going wrong to leave it and move on.”

“I don’t disagree Ro. But, why aren’t all love marriages a success today then?”

“That’s because it is not founded on love. It is infatuation or lust that transforms into myriad forms and creates a dream future in the minds of the ones involved. And when reality hits them, it hits them real hard and they are at a point of no return and nothing ahead.”

He seemed to make sense. He always did. But, all that he said sounded very good during arguments, but not for life – she was deep in thought. “Why did you have to say a yes?” he was going back to square one this time.

“Let us assume that I actually have a guy who is the best I could get and we both are in love with each other – head over heels. My parents need to agree. You know them! They were in love with each other before they married. But look at them today. Your parents are better than mine when it comes to all those factors you stated. Their experience has made them strictly against me choosing a guy.”

“Just because they made a mistake somewhere? Do they believe horoscopes more than your judgement? Don’t you find it ridiculously ....” He stood up from the bench and started walking a few steps away. He did not wish to speak those words. He had had his dose of idiocy for the day and he couldn’t take it anymore.

She bent down and placed her elbows on her thighs and her folded fists on her cheeks. While her clarity was unperturbed, she had no answers to his questions – she felt the world did not have any either. He came back in a few minutes and picked up the invitation that he had left on the bench.

“Nice design ! I like the font” he remarked.

“I thought you would never notice”

A silence crept in again as he kept staring at the card. “Will you come?” she sounded sure but anxious.

“Do I have a choice?” he asked, bringing a smile on her face. He received a punch on his shoulder – the one that he gets whenever they have an argument of this sort.

“I guess this will be the last one I get. You will have better things and a different person to argue with in the future.” he said with a wry smile. He wished time never moved. For a few moments, Shweta saw the emotional side of her extremely rational friend – a rarity she knew.

Quickly recouping, he said, “It’s time. Mom will be waiting for me. I will have to take her to the temple. Shall I drop you?”

“Akshay has come over for the weekend to meet me. He said he will pick me up from here.”

“Good then, you have your official driver now.” he faked another laugh.

They exchanged their byes. Rohan knew, it was time to move on.

Ever loving!
Ganesh Ramachandran 

Thursday, February 21, 2013

"Promise!"


It has been really long since I wrote (read typed). A lot of factors have aided this to happen today and I have a moral obligation to thank them before I start writing. Primarily, thank you Chetan Bhagat. If a million people read R2020 (seriously?), I was reassured that at least a dozen people will read what I write. Next, a few friends, old and new who read my previous blog posts and kept asking me why I have stopped writing. The comments under each of these posts were a huge boost – I don’t think I will need any further inspiration than this. And of course, to the Lord Almighty! I pray the divine force stays with me in this innings of mine.

 “Promise!” – The clear, loud and cute voice of this kid turned my attention and took me a few many years back in memory. The number of times I had uttered this word right through my childhood blew my mind. From returning an eraser the next day to visiting a friend’s home during the weekend, I remember making a promise for a multitude of things; the ones my mind perceive today as petty affairs. Not that I was only at the giving end, I was at the receiving end of a million promises too before life became all that serious. As I returned to the present, I saw her tender fingers brush against her mother’s palm as she uttered the word again to get a peck on her cheek.

The beauty of the word was slowly sinking in. Years have passed by, but I don’t think I have stopped making promises. Just as I took a moment to look around, I realised it was not just me, but the entire world that was running on promises made and received. Day in and day out, how many promises do we make and how varied they are! Some are exchanged by two pairs of eyes. Some are loudly unsaid. Some are defined on papers.

A friendship.. A marriage.. An election.. An occupation.. All these are promises in a certain sense.

It is one of those rare words that have an immense potential to make or break lives. It is a pity that if most of us evaluated the percentage of promises we have kept, we would be left with numbers as poor as India’s growth rate. Whichever end you are at, what use is it to be a part of a promise which is not kept? Alas, an unfulfilled promise is like an ass that cannot carry loads. Neither can it be of any use nor can you keep it for memory’s sake! Why promise, if one cannot keep the word?

With a very sincere gratitude to all the ones I mentioned above, here I promise myself to keep writing regularly! Like I said, “Promise!”

I think. I write.
Ever Loving

Ganesh Ramachandran

Saturday, February 5, 2011

You become what you see…

‘Show me the meaning of being lonely…’ blared his phone. It was 6 a.m. and his favorite song was his alarm tone. Time to wake up and exercise you fatso said his intellectual self. Five more minutes said his emotional self. Technology is indeed a conglomerate of intellectual selves that develop something to satisfy your emotional self. ‘SNOOZE!!!’ What a wonderful option! The very purpose of putting the alarm in place gets spoilt.

This beautiful morning, the alarm rang again… He pressed the Snooze but he couldn’t get back to sleep…
The favorite song of his was at the receiving end of his curse!

It has been a week since his doctor asked him to exercise. It has been years since his dad asked him to. But we always prefer it the harder way. Invite the problems with a red carpet and break our heads and few more parts in the process of solving it. Do we reach the solution? That is an altogether different Question with a standard answer - No!

The alarm has been ringing for a week at 6 a.m. sharp. The man who set it up the previous night is pressing the Snooze a dozen times every morning. And when its 7, all he has time for is to get ready for office – i.e. get more stresses – i.e. get more fat! Because… To him exercise is ‘PAIN’ – All caps, Bold, Italics, Underlined – 50 pt size!!

And Sleep? Is there a better pleasure on earth!!?

But he continues to wonder… How could some people wake up before the alarm, exercise with a smile and have a lovely day ahead, every day in their life.. Leave alone the strangers, whose lives are read in papers and books or those who advertise a treadmill… He was wondering about his own father. May be because the alarms didn’t have a snooze option?!

He goes over his past once… Starting from the rituals in his religion that his grandparents taught, the household chores his mother asked him to do, the sports that his father introduced him to play and the machine that he himself bought for exercising… Everything had something good for his own self. But he never realized it all these days. Hence he needed to enroll himself in a gym and do sit ups in front of a trainee!! You could have very well put ‘Thoppu Karanam’ in front of Lord Vinayaka when your grandpa asked you to! Man loves it sophisticated and making things sophisticated… So he pays and does things which he can do for free !!

As he continued his realization.. The alarm rings again.. The dozenth time.. Its 7 and he has to wake up! It’s a Sunday – a holiday and still he has a stressed up wakening process.. He has to go to the gym… What pushes him is not his will to get better health… But the 12th rule in the Terms and conditions of the gym that states that money will not be refunded for the classes missed !!

Most of us are letting our lives run like this. We know what is correct. We know what is wrong. But we stick to the wrong and are not moving to the right. Duryodhana Reincarnated !! We float with time without taking it under our control and let life decide things for us. But what we have failed to understand is…

Life is indeed a reflection of our thoughts. You perceive to be happy and you are. You perceive to be sad and you are. Whether you think you can win or you can’t, you are correct.

A small inference from Ramayana to sum it up…

Lakshmana saw Rama as a great brother… Today Ram – Laxman are quoted as eg.s for the best brothers…

Sita saw Rama as a husband to whom she has to be pure and truthful… Today women want to be a Sita to their husbands…

But the monkey saw Rama as GOD…..eventually became one… And we all worship him.

You become what you see …

Love
Ganesh R

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

The Phoenix !!

Its time for the re-birth. The hibernation is indeed over! I am back. With what inspired me to write again. Write till I can...

A poem to which I dedicate all my further scriptures to..
Thanks to the 'Anonymous' author..!

R Ganesh

Good Boy..

I went to a party Mom,
I remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,


So I drank soda instead.

I really felt proud inside, Mom,
The way you said I would.
I didn't drink and drive, Mom,
Even though the others said I should.

I know I did the right thing, Mom,


I know you are always right.
Now the party is finally ending, Mom,
As everyone is driving out of sight.

As I got into my car, Mom,
I knew I'd get home in one piece.
Because of
the way you raised me,
So responsible and sweet..

I started to drive away, Mom,
But as I pulled out into the road,
The other car didn't see me, Mom,
And hit me like a load.

As I lay there on the pavement, Mom,


I hear the policeman say,
"The other guy is drunk," Mom,
And now I'm the one who will pay.

I'm lying here dying, Mom....
I wish you'd get here soon.
How could this happen to me, Mom?


My life just burst like a balloon..

There is blood all around me, Mom,
And most of it is mine.
I hear the medic say, Mom,
I'll die in a short time.

I just wanted to tell you, Mom,
I swear I didn't drink.


It was the others, Mom.
The others didn't think.

He was probably at the same party as I.
The only difference is, he drank
And I will die.

Why do people drink, Mom?
It can ruin your whole life.


I'm feeling sharp pains now.
Pains
just like a knife.

The guy who hit me is walking, Mom,
And I don't think it's fair.
I'm lying here dying
And all he can do is stare.

Tell my brother not to cry, Mom.
Tell Daddy to be brave.


And when I go to heaven, Mom,
Put "GOOD BOY " on my grave.

Someone should have told him, Mom,
Not to drink and drive.
If only they had told him, Mom,
I would still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mom.


I'm becoming very scared.
Please don't cry for me, Mom.
When I needed you, you were always there.

I have one last question, Mom.
Before I say good bye.
I didn't drink and drive,
So why am I the one to die?

Anonymous !!

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The Triangular Love Story ! The Remake Director - Half Secular Govt. - An Indian

This blog entry is dedicated to the “gem”-of-a-director, famous for epic remakes and renowned for taking Indian cinema to the World level who has recently come out with another movie which has had the audience dumbstruck again (for different reasons though)

Whilst the director’s movies have acclaimed fame internationally (One of his movies - Nayagan being listed in the TIME Magazine’s 100 Greatest Movies), his critics have this invariable argument against him – Most of his films are remakes of either real life occurrences or the mythological stories! Nevertheless it is difficult to adapt and present the same on the silver screen and the people of India are stupid only when they vote, not when they watch a movie! So, when a movie is a success, it deserved to be (Vijay’s movies are hard core exceptions)

Such is the reputation of the director who decided that it is “Ramayana” which is to get reshaped in his forge this time. Whereas all his previous remakes proved a worthy watch, I’m still wondering whether the director was high on cocaine when he wrote (to be read as re-structured! or may be got inspired from would be soothing) the script for this movie. Lets analyse...

Always on the short cut Rama! Did he really pass police training or got his certificates from those who have been selling duplicates for literally every document on Earth!?

Half exposed Sita! What was she – A cabaret or pole – dancer?

The all hyped, good-to-good, bad-to-bad Ravana - Man this is how every Tamil movie’s hero is portrayed !

Let alone the characters which were blasphemously transformed. The story line suffered a much worse treatment!

Cutting of nose becomes “gang rape”! That too by the police!
Accepting the one who surrenders, and wishes to talk for peace is replaced by killing the same person!
And this hurt a lot! The all mighty Hanuman is a complete “comedy-piece*” who somehow retains the ability from his alter ego, to jump between the trees!
*I insist on the usage of this word over here, although there are proper English words like moron, brainless, kook or whatever!

And finally Sita falls in love with Ravana! Boy O’ Boy… Here the director became a bit too predictable. When everything is being represented as the opposite, its obvious the heroine is going to fall in love with the villain (With the movie titled after the villain, this is pretty much expected – As already stated We are fools only when We vote)

Having gone this far in insulting a great epic, why didn’t you instead push Sita off that cliff in the climax and make Rama and Ravana - gay partners? That would have been an unexpected twist and would have left the audience completely bewildered! And you would have been appreciated for enlightening about Section 377 too. You missed a grand opportunity of entering politics!!

It is when such loathsome representations are being made, am I reminded of movies like ‘The Da Vinci Code’ that received a strong opposition from the Catholic Churches of India (while the ones in the Rest of the World did not protest much – I still wonder what was itching the ones in India) The but-for-Hindus secular Govt. which was already hanging loose on the about-to-be snapped threads did support the groups, failing which they would have lost the opportunity to loot for the years to come, till date! Adding a specific disclaimer did give the admit pass for the movie. Regardless of religion, insulting epics cannot be considered as Freedom of Expression.

Are the Hindus and their mythologies in existence just for making such hideous depictions? Even people who said ‘God ain’t there’ or those who criticized that bindi on a woman’s head looks like blood oozing out, wouldn’t have gone to this extent! Thanks for scaling a surmountable peak!! You have now set new records, which will definitely be overtaken (may be even by you, God knows). You are just Mani. Not Murali, to create unachievable targets!!

May be just one question is left un-asked! Why didn’t the Hindus or the organizations that supposedly represent them didn’t protest against the release of the movie or after the release!? There are two possible answers.

One they are completely bored of fighting. Such acts have been happening from the M F Hussain era. Atleast they could term him a Muslim protagonist and tell that his art work was against the religion. What can they term you? A Hindu traitor?? Their stupid acts are already digging their graves. We do not want you as the icing on that stinking cake!

Second reason! May be they did not watch the movie at all !! Half the India does not
have a 3 square meal. Who would bother about a so-called artistic movie! A 5 song 2 fight masala entertainer cheers that part of India more and makes them feel the money’s worth! Your creative wonders are beyond reach for them.

You may continue giving such remakes for the mouthwatering A Class audience while the country is still in awe with the question – Why do all producers fall in short of budget when it comes to designing a heroine’s dress!

Help these epics live longer (by not doing such profane remakes) !
Long Live the sovereign secular democratic republic !

Ever Loving
Ganesh Ramachandran
The above mentioned 'Indian'

Monday, June 14, 2010

May be I am not good enough...

The son has no liking towards having a formal training in music. However, his ancestors have been traditionally rooted in classical music. So the boy is forced to learn music. Unless the heart is rooted, talents don’t branch out. The boy prefers football to music. Excellence isn’t something that can be thrust upon. The urge for excellence has to come from within. The boy doesn’t do well in music. His teachers criticise him, “Hailing from such an illustrious family, it is a shame that you don’t have interest in music.” The family denounces him saying, “Don’t spoil the family name. Football will not feed you. Drop it and focus on music.” Everybody screams, “Practice more.” How much ever you may practice, a donkey’s bray will never become a cuckoo’s song. In not being able to live up to the expectations of his loved ones, the boy starts feeling less about him. This feeling, “May be, I am not good enough,” begins to show up in all his performances.

I feel it is prime parental responsibility to give children avenues by which they feel like a success. From relationships to career, more than what I do, how I feel about doing it forms the foundation for my future.

The issue isn’t football or music. During growing years, either in academics or in sports or in theatre or in arts or in social work etc., the path is immaterial. But in some path, children should feel a taste of success. A girl who feels that sense of success in BA Economics will do much better with her future than the girl who feels like a failure in BE Electronics.

We say the overall standard of education has dropped!! Why wouldn’t it?

His marks didn’t get him into engineering, but his dad’s money did.

His merit didn’t get him into medicine, but his caste did.

His performance didn’t get him into management education, but the letter from the Minister did.

We end up building a society with Chartered Accountants, who do not have the flair for numbers, doctors who lack sensitivity, engineers who lack analytical abilities, teachers who can’t feel the subject... and then we cry “Why is the world like this???” How else will it be when we have architectured it this way...

Success or failure is not about potential, but it is a matter of interest. The mind will easily follow the heart, but the heart will seldom follow the mind. Competence cannot always cause passion, but passion can always develop competence. Not all first rank holders come first in life. Not all backbenchers remain a backbencher in life. Our past is never equivalent to our future.

There is nothing in a caterpillar that suggests that it can be a butterfly, and yet it becomes one. What we were and what we are, turn inconsequential to what we can become in life.

Give your child a chance by choosing a path where his best will come out. Not everybody can be good at everything, but everybody can be good at something.
Let us stop the perpetuation of the feeling “May be I am not good enough” !!

Ever Loving
Ganesh Ramachandran

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Institutionalised !!

A Tribute to all my near ‘n’ dear ones @ SASTRA !!!
I’m not a poet. Never have I attempted to be one. This is not an attempt to be one either. But never knew a means to share what I feel... Other than ‘WORDS’ !

As I walk through these deserted corridors
I find an inherent emptiness..
In my heart...
Everytime I go home, even for a few days
There used to be happiness n joy
I tell almost everyone around
And it pisses them off to the core...

Today I’m leaving back home forever
But I find the happiness missing...
For it’s at the cost of moving away from my dearest friends!

How many days would I have cribbed about this place...
But it is the same place which has transformed me into what I am today!
How many times would I have badmouthed the ‘mess’ food
But it is the mess hall where I have had life changing conversations!
How much would I have talked ill about the hostels...
But it is the same hostels that I do not want to leave now!
I will be missing it all!

The ‘Chota’ Canteen that gets crowded
Even before the stroke of the 11.10 bell
Guys ‘obviously’ waiting to catch a glimpse of at least one good looking girl!
And the girls ‘secretly’ trying to peek at ‘their’ guy!
Missions impossible... Never forgettable!!

Ice creams that could burn... A hole in your pocket!
Gold Cups that sell hotter than Pepsi & Coke!
Gtalk – the only free channel of communication!

Classes... Free hours... Exams... Results...
The cycle continued for 3 years!
Acquaintances, friends, dear friends, best friends...
Tiffs, Squabbles, Cold wars, Fights, Reunions...

Festivals added colour to our lives...
Fests added flavour to it!

The foundation was getting laid
For the ‘Friends Forever’ tag!

Its time to get a job they said...
And everyone sat with those aptitude books!

There came a final semester, nevertheless different!
Lesser classes, more time spent with friends...
A streak of placements happening with
Loads of companies coming and going by
And thats when everyone started to know...
How much a friend could inspire you to do!!!

The early morning talks over breakfast...
The messages that fly across benches and buildings in the afternoon!
The never ending saga of ‘treats’ in the evening...
And the long late night walks on the sands!

To remove it all in a flash from my life...
Gives a crushing pain!
I’m not a person who cries...
But it certainly pains when a layer of skin is peeled off!!

The first ‘Bye’ wasn’t that difficult...
It went off before I could realise we would never be back together at this place..
The further ones were becoming heavier...
Do not know what the final ones got in store for me!

I decided to leave on the last day from this place!
So that it would give me time to meet all people I wanted to...
And I can travel with the dearest of my friends...
Now I feel how stupid a decision I have taken...

To exchange byes every day, with somebody so close to heart
Is one of the worst things that you can imagine of doing!!

5th July 2006 is like yesterday...
And tomorrow seems empty!

‘Friends’ should have been a longer word...
For the amount of meaning it stores in it!

How fast these four years have been!!
And how much have I learnt from it!!!

As I wish to write a few more lines...
A drop of tear slides down my cheek!
It is that moment when I realise...
I am completely INSTITUTIONALISED!!!

Love you people!
You made my college life memorable!
Will be missing you all...
Do stay in touch!

Ever loving
R Ganesh
Its all In My Humble Opinion..